I held out for as long as possible, but a few months ago, I allowed my 11yr old son to open a Facebook account (their ‘terms of service’ state they have to be 13). Frankly, I was just as concerned about the necessity of lying about his age as I was about the safety issues, and even more so about the temptation to spend yet more time in front of a screen.
So why did I do it? He was leaving his old school, upset about losing touch with his friends, and wanting to make new ones easily. I wanted to ease the transition for him and so agreed as long as I could be his friend. I now monitor his usage and trawl through his friends making sure I know (or at least he knows) them all. I don’t feel good about it, but at least I have so far resisted the demand for a Smart Phone, which the vast majority of his friends already have.
The issue of underage use of Facebook was raised again in the press last week. It crops up every now and then, as one of several ritual ‘bash the parents’ themes.
The problem is simple. Parents have long memories; most of us remember only too well the pain of being left out by peers at school if you didn’t quite fit in (my mum refused to let me watch sitcoms in the 1970’s. I didn’t get to play the Liver Bird game recreated in the playground. I am still getting over it…). We give in because we fear the alternative; isolation.
So we need help. Yes, we can be responsible parents and monitor kids’ usage, but in the same way that I pleaded for manufacturers (if not the Government) of video games to take more responsibility, we also need mobile phone or ISP providers to back a campaign aimed at kids – by flipping the situation and educating kids about social networking from a young age, the incessant nagging and guilt that parents are subjected to may never happen. By and large, tween kids have yet to find their individuality. If something is perceived by the majority as ‘not done’, then it’s ’not done’.
Persuade BBH to provide the ads at cost and Jessie J and Tiny Tempah to front it. These are not new ideas. They are tried and tested, (they worked to simultaneously persuade kids to drink both more milk and less alcohol). Hey, they could even throw in the dangers of cyber bullying too – yet another issue only just round the corner for me.
Parenting is a tough job, never more so than today. Am I wrong to be asking for help?
Asda’s decision to put mothers at the heart of its marketing strategy is no surprise; there is little doubt that as the main shoppers and decision makers for family purchases, this level of insight can be very powerful.
What is commendable is Asda’s willingness to look beyond shopping behaviours to social trends. While appearing to be unrelated these trends often have a profound effect on the nature of a consumer’s bond with a brand, through a broader understanding of their lifestyle. An empathetic appreciation of people and the context within which they live is crucial for any brand hoping to play a role in their lives.
For example, I believe that Helicopter parenting is dying. Over the last couple of years I have scaled back my kid’s extra-curricular activities and now like nothing better than homework-free evenings kicking back with a TV show (and not even an educational one!) and a cuddle. My friends can’t believe it. I was the one always complaining if work wasn’t set or rushing them around to ballet lessons, drama classes and chess club.
The reason? I now think kids’ lives are stressful enough without actively adding to the pressure. Almost every activity came with exams attached, and I now sincerely believe that creating stronger bonds in the home creates a happier, more successful child.
What has this got to do with a supermarket? Everything. I can think of several products, services or communication that could tap straight into that insight and immediately create an emotional link with me. Family fondue night anyone?
It would be interesting however, to know how the sample for the Mumdex panel has been profiled; the assumption being that it’s representative of the existing Asda demographic. If so, caution is needed to avoid the temptation to extrapolate the findings to all mums. No doubt there will be a quarterly release of data that will happily make the pages of the national press; the source simply cited as ‘UK mums’.
Equally has Asda considered identifying those mums on the panel with the most influential clout? In a world where brands need to rely increasingly on Word of Mouth both on and (more crucially for this audience) offline, our research shows that it is a certain type of woman across all social classes who is shaping others’ attitudes and preferences, much more than any form of brand communication. Understanding these women and how, when and where they influence is key, not only to gaining valuable insight into the development of social trends, but also to creating a WOM strategy that goes beyond the mummy blogger and into the real world.
I am currently attracting more sulky looks than usual in my house. They are coming from my 12-year-old son, who feels that my level of strictness has reached stratospheric heights, and that I am in risk of damaging our relationship permanently.
Of course I am not alone in this – every parent the world over would sympathise – but whilst my son has always accepted most boundaries with resigned equanimity, it is my new ‘Technology Rules’ that are causing the strop (which of course, merely serves to mitigate my actions).
The problem is that while I am a big fan of technology, fiercely defending it against those who declare that it destroys family life, social skills and kids’ brains (not if it’s employed sensibly and productively), I can’t keep ignoring the studies which point to the dreaded possibility of addiction and, I hate to say it, what look like the early warning signs in my son (ref. the excessive strop).
via softpedia-static
When he started secondary school recently, I finally allowed him to join Facebook. This really did help the transition (he was more worried about losing touch with his old friends than he was about making new ones), but he began feverishly logging on every morning after a rushed breakfast. Playing his pals on the PSP every night was also becoming more important than his homework. That is, until the ‘Technology Rules’…
What I would really appreciate is some help in all this – and I’m not talking just PHSE classes in school or government guidelines which are frustratingly and peculiarly absent in spite of expert pressure to introduce them.
No, I’m referring to brand involvement. My research shows that not one of the gaming or social media brands is taking the opportunity to engage with kids or parents about this. No social networking sites or games producers are addressing this issue in their CSR plans. Nor are they producing content to help kids and parents make sensible choices.
Crucially, it helps educate kids not yet tainted with commercial cynicism to make healthy choices independent of their parents’ nagging.
Is it really such a huge risk for technology companies to admit and take some responsibility for what appears to be adversely affecting almost every family I know?
A couple of Saturdays ago, on June 25th to be precise, I had the great pleasure of attending Cybermummy.
If you’re unaware of this event then it would be good to know that Cybermummy managed to bring together over 400 mummy bloggers at their London-based conference to great fanfare; including praise from Sarah Brown on their power as a community andan article in the Independent declaring their rivalry to Mumsnet.
As I walked through the door and into their space, the professionalism of this event was immediately apparent – a slick registration process, kindly ushers to give directions to much needed coffee and an onslaught of brands and PR vying for the attention of everyone in the central room.
Settling in for the opening keynote (and weighed down with free baby paraphernalia), I chatted to some mummy bloggers and looked forward to a good day of panels and presentations. It was, if nothing else, extremely enlightening. By the end of the day, the only thing I could focus on was how self-aware this community of bloggers is. From monetising your blog, to etiquette instructions for brands engaging with bloggers, everything seemed to close in around one key issue – how mummy bloggers can make their income, and more, from their blogs. This is a new profession for the digital age and, if you’re stuck on how to make your cash, another mummy will come along and help you get started… for a fee.
Cybermummy leaders are keen to point out their power: 10 million page views per month and an increase in number of blogs from 100 to 2500 over the past two years are just some of the statistics they have released to the press. Put that in stark black and white and it’s no wonder brands like P&G, Disney and Lego are scrambling to their side.
But is it setting a good precedent?
In the midst of such a rapid increase in numbers of bloggers, a new focus on monetisation and a community that is more self-aware by the minute, how do you find the right voices for your brand? How do you ensure that your engagement is getting you the right results?
In this over saturated corner of the internet, that’s certainly a conundrum.
Once you start focusing on monetising a blog, once you start manipulating the content to make your blog more appealing to brands, that’s when you start losing your authenticity. That honest and genuine voice that consumers look to for opinions on services and products is suddenly diluted and no longer trustworthy. So in amongst those 10 million page views, how many blogs are still having the same impact on readers?
I asked several mummy bloggers about their own reading habits. In particular, I wondered how they viewed each other’s blogs and if they enjoyed reading them. The overwhelming feedback was that sponsored posts, stories of brand sponsored activities and gifts and PR-fed reviews were an instant turn-off leading many to close their browser window. Where one or two would be okay in the past, now it has become so common place among blogs that it seems even the mummy bloggers themselves are bored of reading them.
So is there an answer?
Perhaps not. But a more considered approach is certainly necessary. The highest number of followers, or the biggest page reach, may not always be the right blog for your brand. Because even though they will amplify your message, they won’t advocate it. They might say some nice things, but they won’t evangelise.
Finding the right place online for your brand is always tricky, and the temptation to throw it out to as many blogs and see what sticks is understandable. True loyalty makes a far more powerful voice and finding those voices is the task. But when you do, even if they have lower numbers of followers and fewer page views, the impact will be greater and their words will be read.
Because there’s nothing more powerful online than a truly authentic, evangelical advocate.
For most women, conversation with friends is the most influential type there is, because we make friends with people with whom we identify. We value their opinions, ask their advice and exchange views on everything.
We will always find ways to talk – but with whom, where and for how long is largely dictated by our life stage, not simply our age or SEG. In order to engage women for our clients, understanding and applying this dynamic to our work for clients is key. We talk, but how much and where changes over time. Take my experience:
In my twenties, life was one long social interaction between work colleagues, flatmates, clients, hairdresser, personal shopper and facialist (ok, I’m lying about the last two). Chat usually took place at work or in bars – rarely at home.
Things changed in my thirties, when the idea of a baby ceased to be The Worst Thing That Can Happen and gradually seemed like A Good Idea. Little did I know what I would be sacrificing. When my son was a newborn, my husband escaped on a business trip. I spent four days on my own struggling to come to grips with him (and him me…). I don’t think I spoke to anyone the entire time, and it was pretty much that way for the next four months.
Once things settled, I found I needed to engage with everyone. I had so many questions and so few answers. This was in the days before Mumsnet and there’s only so many times you can read ‘What to Expect’. I spent my time in parks and at baby groups seeking out like-minded women to cure my feelings of isolation and my thirst for shared experiences.
Two years later, what was left of my social life took an even bigger back seat. My time now consumed with a toddler and new baby, meet-ups would often end in frustration and aborted conversation. Instead, I acquired a computer so I could plug into Mumsnet during naptime each day, and keep up sporadic contact with real friends via email.
When the kids started school, I got out of the house again. I worked for a local agency with other parents and chat was family related and child-free! I no longer had the time to engage with Mumsnet, but my income did allow us to see our friends on Saturday nights for a few precious hours.
Now it’s on the up again. Being employed part-time means I can squeeze in the odd lunch or coffee with my girlfriends. We can have three families around for Sunday afternoon and the chat and wine flows while the kids amuse themselves. We are holidaying with two families who have similar interests. I am even a member of a book club that meets every Thursday (and which talks about the book for ten minutes exactly).
To my slight shame, part of me is secretly quite looking forward to the kids leaving home. I know I will mourn their absence, but it will mean exciting new interests, social engagements, trips away with friends, whole afternoons on Facebook if I choose, or three months on a cruise (well, have you seen where they go?).
And, like my lovely Mother-in-Law (who kindly provided me with this lifestyle blueprint), I will probably be letting everyone know about it. All the time…
Think about your life stages. Think about those of your customers. Where are the downtimes, the upsurges, the opportunities? When are they able to talk? When do they want to?
My daughter has started a new school, and along with other pressures comes the need to be seen as ‘a good mum’.
Last Friday she announced she needed a blue nose. A request like this usually implies an entire costume is required at breakneck speed for an assembly or charity day.
“What do you need it for? I’m not sure I have a blue eyeliner…”
“Not a blue nose Mummy! A Blue Nose! It’s an animal with a blue nose – everyone in my class has one, but Emily says if you don’t want to, she will ask her mum to get me one.”
Okaaay. I look slyly at Lily. Does she realise she has just performed the most perfect piece of pester power? She smiles sweetly, “It’s true – she says she won’t mind!”
Five minutes later we’re at the toyshop. Bluenoses are ugly, unimaginative ‘plush’ creatures with dead eyes. I know it, she knows it. She keeps glancing furtively at the Sylvanian Family section. She’s wanted a Dalmatian baby for a while now….
I suggest a Bluenose key ring – visible the whole time on her bag but only £1.99. She accepts and I then buy her the Dalmatian baby anyway simply because she didn’t ask for it – bizarrely the second most perfect piece of pester power.
The reason I seem so weak is because I actually don’t have a problem with school crazes – they’re part of school life, and more often than not, they occur organically rather than are brand driven. I’ve asked around – the passion for Bluenoses isn’t replicated at any other schools around here – nor was the obsession with Mighty Beanz last year in my son’s class. Yes, they are designed as kid’s collectibles, but I think it just takes a couple of kids to kick-start it – and the herd follows.
But what happens to my point of view when a pester is clearly brand driven – usually through advertising or a website? I feel my shackles rising. Nothing annoys me more than a request for an obscure item that I must then go and research – only to find more stuff aimed at seducing kids.
So how am I feeling about the brand now?
What emotions am I attaching to it?
Ultimately, I still hold the purse strings, and nine times out of ten I will say no on principle. Yes, I know I’m tough, but I’m sure those parents who give in do so under duress rather than through warm feelings towards the brand.
By all means talk to the kids – but talk to the parents too. At 1000heads we go further than that. We will not target kids under 16 at all. We speak to parents, communities and often, schools too – in a language which seeks to inform, stresses the benefits and ultimately results in a positive attitude towards the brand. Instead of a one-way pester, you get a two-way conversation.
For most women, conversation with friends is the most influential type there is, because we make friends with people with whom we identify. We value their opinions, ask their advice and exchange views on everything.
