For most women, conversation with friends is the most influential type there is, because we make friends with people with whom we identify. We value their opinions, ask their advice and exchange views on everything.

We will always find ways to talk – but with whom, where and for how long is largely dictated by our life stage, not simply our age or SEG. In order to engage women for our clients, understanding and applying this dynamic to our work for clients is key. We talk, but how much and where changes over time. Take my experience:

In my twenties, life was one long social interaction between work colleagues, flatmates, clients, hairdresser, personal shopper and facialist (ok, I’m lying about the last two). Chat usually took place at work or in bars – rarely at home.

Things changed in my thirties, when the idea of a baby ceased to be The Worst Thing That Can Happen and gradually seemed like A Good Idea. Little did I know what I would be sacrificing. When my son was a newborn, my husband escaped on a business trip. I spent four days on my own struggling to come to grips with him (and him me…). I don’t think I spoke to anyone the entire time, and it was pretty much that way for the next four months.

Once things settled, I found I needed to engage with everyone. I had so many questions and so few answers. This was in the days before Mumsnet and there’s only so many times you can read ‘What to Expect’. I spent my time in parks and at baby groups seeking out like-minded women to cure my feelings of isolation and my thirst for shared experiences.

Two years later, what was left of my social life took an even bigger back seat. My time now consumed with a toddler and new baby, meet-ups would often end in frustration and aborted conversation. Instead, I acquired a computer so I could plug into Mumsnet during naptime each day, and keep up sporadic contact with real friends via email.

When the kids started school, I got out of the house again. I worked for a local agency with other parents and chat was family related and child-free! I no longer had the time to engage with Mumsnet, but my income did allow us to see our friends on Saturday nights for a few precious hours.

Now it’s on the up again. Being employed part-time means I can squeeze in the odd lunch or coffee with my girlfriends. We can have three families around for Sunday afternoon and the chat and wine flows while the kids amuse themselves. We are holidaying with two families who have similar interests. I am even a member of a book club that meets every Thursday (and which talks about the book for ten minutes exactly).

To my slight shame, part of me is secretly quite looking forward to the kids leaving home. I know I will mourn their absence, but it will mean exciting new interests, social engagements, trips away with friends, whole afternoons on Facebook if I choose, or three months on a cruise (well, have you seen where they go?).

And, like my lovely Mother-in-Law (who kindly provided me with this lifestyle blueprint), I will probably be letting everyone know about it. All the time…

Think about your life stages. Think about those of your customers. Where are the downtimes, the upsurges, the opportunities? When are they able to talk? When do they want to?

Tags: Facebook, mums, mumsnet, new mother, social media, word of mouth