Complimenting strangers

By Carrie Grafham

YOU ROCK!When was the last time you paid a compliment to a stranger?

Mine was when I sat opposite a beautiful coat for three hours on the way to Paris. I wanted that coat, and just plucked up courage to ask the wearer where she bought it as we rolled to Gare du Nord. As I feared, it was out of my reach – Chloe – purchased in Monte Carlo.

I wasn’t able to talk with much authority on their latest collection, so we talked about the glories of Monte Carlo instead. She looked as pleased as punch as she swept off the train. My fantasy of her ripping it from her back and flinging it my way in a ‘more money than sense’ fit of altruism was therefore short lived.

I also received a compliment of my own last week. I was in the supermarket near my home (sorry to bring you down to earth) when a shopper in the queue exclaimed that my perfume was gorgeous and what was it? It was one I hadn’t worn for a while, but as soon as she said it, everyone seemed to be nodding and smiling in agreement, from the checkout girl to the two year old toddler. Now it was my turn to be as pleased as punch (Bvlgari White Tea, since you ask), and guess what?

I’ve been wearing it ever since.

An exchange of this kind is powerful on two fronts: the requester takes away evidence of a product’s efficacy up close, while the recipient basks in the post-purchase glow of satisfaction that only a stranger can truly deliver. Friends and family are indeed very influential when making decisions about purchases, but what about after the fact? Who’s to say a friend isn’t being disingenuous in order to make us feel good (or dare I say it, insecure) about our choice?

No, the words of a stranger are by far the most powerful in this respect, and that is no doubt why the lady on the train will probably choose another Chloe coat and why I will make a beeline for the Bvlgari range next time I am in the airport (en route to Monte Carlo, no doubt).

So, our challenge is – can we encourage genuine compliment giving in order to encourage word of mouth for our clients?

Is it something we can influence honestly, or is it one area of conversation that is and always will remain the most powerful simply because we can’t?

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Brought into the world on Monday, March 28th, 2011 and filed under 1000thoughts, Creative.

  • Molly Flatt

    I love this Carrie – an opportunity for word of mouth I've genuinely never considered before. I too know what a profound effect a stranger's compliment has on my feelings towards that item. A really tricky one in terms of stimulation but I suppose if you could encourage the act without the dictating the content it would still remain authentic…

  • http://www.hometruthsblog.blogspot.com Carrie Grafham

    Thanks – and yes, authenticity will be key – I feel a challenge coming on…

  • http://twitter.com/CloudNineRec Steve Ward

    Great post – wow, this really does create an interesting perspective? – If authenticity is the key to great WOM, are we saying (between the lines) that compliments from a stranger are more authentic than from our own peer group? i.e. beyond the usual patter?
    I'd understand if the answer was yes – but it does open up an interesting bit of insight?

  • http://www.hometruthsblog.blogspot.com Carrie Grafham

    Well, there's a lot more effort involved in paying a compliment to a stranger – a lot of us wouldn't do it (it took me 3 hours to ask about the coat!) so when we get a compliment, we recognise that, and it does carry more currency. However, it gets more complicated: the complimenting needs to be someone we consider 'like us' or someone we aspire to being. If we get a compliment from a stranger we don't relate to – is it a negative?